The night was winding down as was my opponent's chip stack. I was happy that the remaining few thousand dollars was almost certainly coming my way. Heads-up poker of any variety, especially as it wears late into the night or early into the morning, becomes a war of attrition. Small mistakes, played out over many hands, accumulate into thousands of dollars; and eventually the losing player can almost physically feel his remaining chips drawn by the gravity of his opponent's snowballing stack. You'd think I would be satisfied that I was on the verge of securing a hard-fought night's win (and I was). But I could mostly only think about the dreaded gambit my opponent would propose after his loss. . .
The last of his chips slid over in a defeat more of inevitability and circumstance than skill. I realized after a rant, that I mostly tuned out, that he wasn't re-buying to continue the match. Then came the inevitable request:
"C'mon man, let me get 10k. We'll play some more."
"Ok," I say. "Go ahead."
"No," he says. "Loan me 10k." (A loan, I think? The process of temporarily borrowing money that a bank usually requires collateral and massive personal identification for?)
"No. I don't want to." (I prefer this much more to the usual "I can't" that people default to which is an obvious lie with more than that amount sitting on the table in front of them).
The stage direction here would read ::illogical bargaining ensues::
"What? You don't trust me? What the F, man?"
"Trust you? I barely even know you. I've played with you five times."
"You just beat me for all that money, and you're not gonna loan me to win it back?"
.....
I'll spoil the ending for you. I didn't loan him the money. I probably eventually lost the same amount I won the next day minus $1,000, and that's how professional gambling works (but I'll save that for another time).
It's not really a specific story, but it doesn't have to be because it happens so often. It often amazes me that people really believe the things they say in their illogical bargaining. Let's discuss:
Borrowing money always involves some level of trust (or credit, if you're a bank). Because I've known this person only from the poker room and have no experience in this person dealing with money (other than having just watched him torch all of his), I have to assign him some kind of level of default trust of a basic stranger. Now I actually started my thinking at one point that a stranger deserves zero trust. But you are actually trusting a stranger at a poker table with some basic ideas, i.e.- the unwillingness to cheat, unwillingness to physically harm you, abide by the rules of the game, respect everyone's basic human rights, etc. None of these include "the good faith that the opponent will return an unsecured loan despite the fact he is unable to muster a buy-in for the game." So why does the person seeking the loan so incredulously protest your denial??? We move on...
"You just beat me for all the money, and you're gonna loan me to get it back?" There is this intangible theory among degenerates (which we all are, even the winners among us) that we're all in this losing together. As if we all just head the casino knowing that we will probably lose but hoping that somehow we will break even and go have beers together splitting the bar tab equally and laughing about all the hands we tied. The game can't end with someone losing money! We just play until the odds have evened out, and we are both financially no worse for the wear (minus the casino's rake of course which we will have equally contributed to and join in scorning!)
But this is a zero-sum game, and anyone who intends to play it profitably intends to win. Thus, they intend to play against people who are going to lose. So, no, I don't (nor can I figure out why anyone would) want you to win your money back.
But this nonsensical idea pervades all levels of the casino (and potentially keeps recreational players returning). Perhaps it's why a dealer sits down at a poker table and says "Good luck everyone." Knowing it's a zero-sum game, I always counter:
"Not everyone can have good luck."