Following the wake of the revelation of multiple sex crimes (notably Harvey Weinstein's, etc.), people have been searching for answers to many questions about sexual assault: How bad is this? How did this happen? How can we stop this? I've seen some very vague answers about "stepping up" or "listening to women," but I haven't seen much that we hadn't already considered or done. Many good men and women, in their lives, have already been taking the side of and listening to victims of sexual assault. When I considered my own experiences with people, I remembered one of the most common and surprising answers I'd get when I asked:
"Have you ever been a victim of sexual assault?" Many would answer:
"Well, I'm not really sure . . ."
This is one of the most dangerous answers. Like so many other areas of REAL life that remain unaddressed, it seems again our schools have failed us in educating potential victims of the law and their rights in a grey area that they could face daily. So many people know that they should get a job, but they don't know how to negotiate their wage. They know how to cash a paycheck, but they don't know how they're being taxed and what their deductions are paying for. And like these real-life scenarios, they know they have the right to not be sexually harassed or assaulted; but they don't know how the law specifically protects them.
My conservative ideology has played home to groups of people who are simply inclined to think older is better: that "nowadays people complain too much." I'd like to appeal to two Conservative tenets: self-reliance and an effort to fix a problem logically. I'm not against the pleas of many that have asked men to stand up for and listen to women. The problem, though, is that good men are not the problem. You cannot make a bad person become a good person simply by telling him he's bad. Good men will continue to be good, and bad men will continue to be bad; and a disaster will occur (potentially in larger magnitude) when a problem continues unresolved that we think is fixed!
What I'd like to do is make a concerted effort for people to be educated and to educate themselves, when possible, on the law. This includes someone that could be a witness. Too often people don't "say something" because they're simply not sure they're right. Much more often in workplace environments, people wouldn't have to fear for their jobs due to incorrect allegations because they'll KNOW the law and be PREPARED for the situation.
So what can we do even more specifically?
The first thing I did was to look up the definition of sexual assault:
(via https://www.justice.gov/ovw/sexual-assault)
"Sexual assault is any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient. Falling under the definition of sexual assault are sexual activities as forced sexual intercourse, forcible sodomy, child molestation, incest, fondling, and attempted rape."
This definition is actually pretty explicit. Very easy to understand and very obvious to a well-intentioned human. One of the takeaways here should be "explicit consent." If someone is in a grey area of potentially becoming a victim, say NO. Make sure a potential victim has a plan to say no and realize that this instantly puts the law on the victim's side.
Still these seemed pretty obvious. So I next looked up the definition of sexual harassment:
(via https://www.eeoc.gov/eeoc/publications/fs-sex.cfm)
"Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitute sexual harassment when this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual's employment, unreasonably interferes with an individual's work performance, or creates an intimidating, hostile, or offensive work environment."
A little more ambiguous here, and I think this is where education and preparation will go a long way. Note: it's not illegal to ask someone out at work, and it never should be. If you ask out a co-worker, employee, or boss though; you'd better be damned sure you make it clear that it has nothing to do with work/advancement or anything mentioned above. Anyone who knows this law can prepare himself or herself accordingly. If someone is approached in this way, and the advance is unwanted, that person should make sure to make it clear the advances are "unwelcome." Any witnesses, again by knowing the law, can know that their jobs are not at stake, and that the law is on their side. The "bystander effect" should no longer be a concern for prepared, informed witnesses.
Too often, the victims and witnesses are unprepared and fearing for their careers and futures. In accordance with this concept, victims also have to know that the justice for these actions will be swift and punitive. It should be made abundantly clear that the damages levied against the criminal should monetarily replace the victim's career that was put at risk by the offender.
I cannot stress enough the concept that pleading with bad people to be good is like pouring water in a bucket with a hole. It is tough to place the burden of improvement on a potential victim, but if there are only two people in the room (the criminal and the victim) which one do you think is more capable of listening to reason? No matter how much we publicize that crime is not acceptable, there will still be criminals. We can only then approach these things with factors within our control: self-reliance, education, preparation, and the rule of law.